is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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