My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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