you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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