Ambien. No doubt about it.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there was a trapeze. enough said
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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