The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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