He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
