i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
