what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
