Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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