I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
