make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
