Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
