I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
whose ass print is on the piano?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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