I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
