We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
