Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
third nipple confirmed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
