Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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