someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
