2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
