We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
