I wish I could teleport
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
