do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She's the barista slut.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
