Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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