There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
