I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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