lets start a swedish sibling band together
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
