I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
