yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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