im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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