so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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