Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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