and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
