No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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