this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
