We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
