I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
