we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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