Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
