i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She told me I should be a condom model.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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