You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
