I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
