So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
