508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
