Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
