your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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