god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
