i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
