And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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