Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The uberlube is also flammable
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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