Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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