Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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