Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
