You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
