The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
